For a moment I thought you were just playing me..
it turns out, you just are even more scared than I am. You’re scared that I’ll run away from you.
And every single time you try to tell me why no one should love you
I fall for you a little more.
The way you’re insecure behind that killer confidence that everyone sees in you.
The way you have to check to be sure I’m still yours.
It breaks my heart how people have treated you before, and I know it’s stupid and ridiculous but it makes me wanna fix you, make you believe there is something good in people again. Even if it meant I’ll fix you for someone else to hold.. I’d know I would’ve helped you to be happy.
I’m surprised how calm I was when you said you don’t even remember the last time you felt anything towards another human being. Even when I know it means you don’t have feelings for me either. But you’ve told me a thousand time that you could like me really, really much. That I’m just the kind of person you’d fall for if you had the courage. You’d want to buy me flowers and you want to fall asleep in my arms, with not as much as an inch between our bodies. When we were together last weekend, I don’t think I spent more than five minutes without you at least holding my hand. Usually you held me. You held me even closer to you when we weren’t alone. It made me feel so, so safe.. I wake up to your texts and the last text I get at night is always from you, you never fall asleep without telling me good night. Without calling me Little one. You say that you couldn’t like anyone, that you couldn’t be with anyone, and I can see how scary it is to think you could after all this time. But without meaning to sound narcissistic or crazy, I kind of know you like me. I just know. And for my insecure self that is more than a huge thing to realize.
I know you’ll never read this unless I show this to you, but this kinda cleared my head. I miss you, bye.