29S12E

Little bit of this, little bit of that, little less than everything, much about absolutely nothin', wanting to be somebody, smiling to everyone and bitchin' to everybody - mix it well before drinkin'!

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I miss my girl like hell. :(
She’s overseas on a vacation, she’s only been there for few days and she even texted me one night but still.. I’m used to us talking like all the time and even when super busy with life, we normally talk daily. It’s weird not to at least hear about her day every night and stuff like that. :’) has made me realize how big part of my life she is, though.

We were meant to see each other last week but something came up. So it’s been a while.. Feels super funny to think that couple of weeks is a long time not seeing her face but it really is :—-D we’ve had the amazing luxury of pretty much being able to see each other weekly for a while now.


But gooosh I can’t wait to get to text to her and see her and hear her voice and hug her and hold her close to me and kiss her and fuck her and have her smoke all my cigarettes ‘cause she’s too lazy to get her own and just listen to her talk

She makes me feel good when everything else seems to fall apart

Even when she’s six hundred kilometers away.

I think that’s something to hold on to.

I know she knows

but won’t you please


If you see my girl

just tell her I miss her smile

Tell her I’m counting the minutes

gonna see her in a little while

~

For a moment I thought you were just playing me..

it turns out, you just are even more scared than I am. You’re scared that I’ll run away from you.

And every single time you try to tell me why no one should love you

I fall for you a little more.

The way you’re insecure behind that killer confidence that everyone sees in you.

The way you have to check to be sure I’m still yours. 

It breaks my heart how people have treated you before, and I know it’s stupid and ridiculous but it makes me wanna fix you, make you believe there is something good in people again. Even if it meant I’ll fix you for someone else to hold.. I’d know I would’ve helped you to be happy.

I’m surprised how calm I was when you said you don’t even remember the last time you felt anything towards another human being. Even when I know it means you don’t have feelings for me either. But you’ve told me a thousand time that you could like me really, really much. That I’m just the kind of person you’d fall for if you had the courage. You’d want to buy me flowers and you want to fall asleep in my arms, with not as much as an inch between our bodies. When we were together last weekend, I don’t think I spent more than five minutes without you at least holding my hand. Usually you held me. You held me even closer to you when we weren’t alone. It made me feel so, so safe.. I wake up to your texts and the last text I get at night is always from you, you never fall asleep without telling me good night. Without calling me Little one. You say that you couldn’t like anyone, that you couldn’t be with anyone, and I can see how scary it is to think you could after all this time. But without meaning to sound narcissistic or crazy, I kind of know you like me. I just know. And for my insecure self that is more than a huge thing to realize. 

I know you’ll never read this unless I show this to you, but this kinda cleared my head. I miss you, bye.